A Murder in West Virginia

      No Comments on A Murder in West Virginia

In June 2009, Martinsburg, West Virginia lost a beloved resident to domestic violence, an all too common occurrence in the United States and abroad. And for an all too common reason: Donald Surber couldn’t accept that his girlfriend, Kathy Sharp, had ended their relationship. Today we’ll discuss Kathy’s case, how it impacted her community, how her killer was punished, and the roles of victim protection and violence prevention.

Warning to listeners: We only discuss the details of Kathy’s murder, but we do talk at length about the impact of intimate partner violence on families and especially children. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence DO NOT WAIT. Contact a local shelter or, if you’re in the United States, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

Location

The major events of this case take place in Berkeley County, West Virginia, in the eastern part of the United States, about 80 miles northwest of Washington D.C. The crime occurred in the Hedgesville area of Martinsburg, which is the seat of Berkeley County and the seventh largest town in West Virginia, with a population at the time of about 17,000 residents. The town has a rich and interesting history, but one interesting thing I learned about its present s that it houses one of the country’s two IRS computer processing centers. About one-third of electronically filed tax returns in America are processed in Martinsburg. 

Future Berkeley County resident Katherine Sharp, the victim in today’s case, was born on June 21, 1973 in Alexandria, Virginia to parents Patricia and Jerry Madison. Kathy graduated from West Virginia’s Jefferson High School in 1992. She was a long-time dental assistant to Dr. Brian Palank in Shepherdstown, West Virginia and lived in the Hedgesville-area suburbs of Martinsburg. 

Hostage at home

In the early summer of 2009, Kathy was keeping herself busy as a single mom with an eight-year-old son, 14-year-old daughter, full-time job, and regular attendance at her local church and Gold’s Gym, making many friends and happy memories along the way. 

Around lunchtime on Sunday, June 14, Kathy’s ex-boyfriend broke into her home at 10 Raider Lane. Thirty-seven-year-old Donald Surber lived in Winchester, Virginia, about a half hour’s drive southwest on the highway. Kathy was one week shy of her 36th birthday when Donald forced himself into her home, taking Kathy and her 14-year-old daughter hostage. Local newspapers reported that Kathy and Donald had “numerous” arguments that Sunday and in the days leading up to it, describing their relationship as “on-again, off-again.” 

After breaking in, while arguing, Donald hit Kathy, so Kathy told her daughter to call 911. Kathy’s daughter followed her mother’s instructions and then managed to escape out a window. When two state police arrived on the scene, Donald announced to the officers that he had a gun and he was going to kill Kathy if they didn’t leave. Of course, the officers didn’t leave, only mobilized more law enforcement response. They tried calling Kathy’s cell phone – Donald answered and repeated his threat to kill Kathy if officers didn’t leave. Police continued to contact Donald and attempt to negotiate with him to release Kathy

Overcome by anger

In the meantime, Donald restrained Kathy in her bedroom by tying her arms and legs. He first contemplated killing her by suffocating her and even put a pillowcase over her head for that purpose. Donald says that Kathy became more anxious as the ordeal went on and asked to take some Xanax and ibuprofen. Then, he says, “she had fallen asleep at that point. I stabbed her.” Donald said “she died immediately,” but he was still “full of so much anger” that he smothered her, stomped on her chest, and then dragged her out of her bedroom before he “started cutting and slicing her up” even more. 

The hostage situation at 10 Raider Lane lasted 26 hours and ended with Donald Surber turning himself over to police custody. When officers entered the home at about 2:30 pm on Monday, June 15, they found Kathy in the middle of what would later be described as a scene of “brutality and calculated coldness.”

A tragic loss

When news of Kathy Sharp’s death broke, an outpouring of support, memories, and emotions in her community followed. The online obituary from the funeral home that handled her services has 10 pages of condolences, all expressing a sense of tremendous loss:

  • “Kathy’s smiling face and warm personality will be missed by all who were lucky enough to know her.”
  • “My heart goes out to all of you, especially her children who could have never asked for a better mom. Kathy’s smile lit up every room she entered. She was not only beautiful on the outside but the inside too.”
  • “I loved your personality and your smile…you really added a great atmosphere to the office…It’s going to be so hard for me to go to the dentist again and not see your smiles…I will miss you and forever hold you in my heart.”
  • “No matter where we [saw] Kathy she always spoke and asked how we [were] doing…We are very lucky to have known her; we just wish she had more time.”

On Saturday, June 13, the day before Kathy was murdered, she spent the morning hitting yard sales. Afterward, she stopped at Reba Weller’s home – Reba was Kathy’s former mother-in-law, her daughter grandmother, and even after Kathy and Reba’s son divorced, Kathy and Reba maintained a good relationship. Kathy stopped by that Saturday to brag about her yard sale finds, including a designer jacket she snagged for just $2. 

On Monday, June 15, the day Donald Surber surrendered, Kathy had plans to help paint her work office with a coworker. The following weekend, on her birthday, Kathy would have been volunteering at a free dental clinic. 

Early escape

The following weekend was also Father’s Day, and Donald Surber had children who wouldn’t be able to celebrate with him while he was in prison. Maybe he was considering this when on Friday, June 19, less than a week after murdering his ex-girlfriend, Donald slit his wrists while showering at the Eastern Regional Jail. 

Guards immediately wrapped Donald in a blanket and transported him to Martinsburg City Hospital’s Emergency Room. When they arrived at about 8:30 pm, officers removed Donald’s handcuffs and shackles so that he could dress himself before entering the crowded waiting room. 

Donald took the opportunity to flee from his two guards, running through the waiting room in an attempt to escape. Fortunately, the emergency room doors were locked, and Donald was cornered. He made a move toward one of the correctional officers to take his gun, and the officer responded by shooting Donald once in his shoulder and torso area. Once subdued, Donald was finally treated for his injuries, and then transferred to a higher security medical center while he recovered. 

Road to trial

More charges were added as a result of this incident, and in October 2009, a grand jury convicted Donald Surber on multiple counts, including the first degree murder and kidnapping of Kathy Sharp, the attempted kidnapping of her daughter, a minor, burglary, felony destruction of property, domestic battery, and attempting to disarm a police officer, among others. A trial was set for February 2010 but was then delayed until August to allow time for a “criminal responsibility evaluation.” 

After his indictment, Donald quickly made the decision to represent himself. Several motions and another psychological evaluation later, a hearing regarding Donald’s self-representation took place on June 25, 2010. It was just over a year since the murder. The court would examine whether, in a legal sense, Donald was competent enough to represent himself at trial and understood the responsibility he was undertaking. 

Surprise plea

Donald Surber insisted that not only did he want to represent himself, but he also wanted to enter a guilty plea. Now. The proceedings became a plea hearing wherein Donald acknowledged that he was “competent” throughout the kidnapping and murder but “chose not to” stop.

“I’ve had 13 months to think about it and to talk to my parents and just to really think about what went on and everything. I take full responsibility. There’s no question about it. I have five families that I really hurt. I hurt a community. I hurt four children that I’m not asking for their forgiveness because I know what I did was wrong. My thing is that I just want to get it over with. I’m not asking for mercy from the Court. I’m not asking for a plea bargain. I’m not asking for nothing. I know that I will probably spend the rest of my life in prison. I have no problem for that because I took away someone that I did care about.” 

Donald Surber pleaded guilty to all but two charges: the attempt to disarm an officer and attempted possession of a firearm by an inmate. Donald disputed these charges related to his escape attempt, and the court agreed to drop them. 

No Mercy

At sentencing, Donald asked his father to take the stand, but he refused. If my research is correct, I’m not sure how much help his father would have been anyway. There is a Donald B Surber in West Virginia’s sex offender registry who was convicted in 1973 of raping a female between 13 and 17 years old and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Donald B Surber Jr was born November 30, 1971. (Donald Jr is linked to his mother Brenda in this 2013 obituary, and she and Donald Sr are associated with the same address.)

Donald also asked his children to speak on his behalf, but he was convinced by family and counsel not to put them through it. His ex-wife and children were present at the hearing for  statements that, other than Donald’s, were from Kathy Sharp’s family and friends. They included Kathy’s teenage daughter, who managed to call 911 and escape when Donald broke into her home and began assaulting her mother. 

As the court put it, Donald Surber “had not shown mercy on the victim and did not want mercy shown to him.” The sentencing judge followed through on August 2, 2010, imposing the statutory sentences of life, with no mercy for the first degree murder and kidnapping of Kathy Sharp. Donald was also sentenced to three-to-fifteen years for attempted kidnaping, one-to-fifteen years for burglary, one-to-ten years for destruction of property, six months for domestic assault, and five years for attempted escape. All sentences are to run consecutively to each other. 

Donald was also forced to pay over $4,000 restitution directly to Kathy’s family and more than $40,000 restitution for expenses related to Kathy’s burial, home repairs, and other costs associated with his crimes. 

Take two

Despite claiming that he wanted to spare his and Kathy’s children further pain and take responsibility for his merciless actions, Donald Surber filed motions in February 2011 and February 2012 attempting to appeal his sentence and withdraw his guilty plea. He argued that his “guilty pleas were not entered knowingly, intelligently, and voluntarily,” that his sixth amendment right to counsel had been “violated,” that his “sentence was disproportionate and excessive,” and that his “standby counsel” was “ineffective.” 

When Donald entered his guilty plea in June 2010, he mentioned problems with jail conditions but clarified that it was a separate issue and wasn’t motivating his desire to plead guilty. Donald was now claiming in his appeals that he plead guilty only to earn transfer to another prison facility. Donald said he was placed on “powerful anti-psychotic medications” and that he endured “constant coercion” in prison. He said he was “essentially being tortured” while there, having his cell door kicked open in the middle of the night and being denied food and prescription medication. Donald brought up being shot during his hospital escape attempt, once again insisting he never tried to disarm an officer.

Investigations revealed that any restrictions placed on Donald were done by the book and due to Donald’s escape attempt – he presented an elevated risk after that. Donald never filed a complaint about the prison conditions, and at one point he was transferred between jails due to his own behavioral disruptions. The court dismissed Donald’s arguments by more or less saying that prison conditions would continue at the state’s standard regardless of where Donald was housed and whether or not he liked them. 

The court also pointed to multiple motions and conferences during which Donald demonstrated that he was “fully informed and understood” what representing himself and pleading guilty meant. The public defenders assigned to him were still available to him as a resource, but Donald says self-representation meant that he was unable to “effectively represent his own interests” due to a lack of “witnesses, experts, or lawyers” and “mitigating evidence.” 

The court rebutted this by pointing out that Donald couldn’t now “claim that his own inadequacies amounted to the denial of the effective assistance of counsel” and there is “nothing in the record to support such an allegation.” Essentially, Donald can’t ask for a do-over because he doesn’t like the outcome. Being an effective counselor became his responsibility when he demanded, in spite of the court’s and his attorneys’ advice, to represent himself. 

Finally, the court stood by its sentencing, refusing to reduce or modify the terms. The crime Donald committed was particularly brutal, and it wasn’t his first act of domestic violence. He had an “extensive police record in Virginia,” including the charge of kidnapping his girlfriend in Winchester. She would become the mother of his children, and he pleaded the charges down to a misdemeanor. Donald had already made one escape attempt while in custody, and the court deemed him a “monumental risk to public safety.” Two consecutive life sentences with no chance of parole were confirmed. 

Reflections

Donald Surber’s children already had it bad enough before he was sentenced for murder – their father had been charged with kidnapping their mother before they were even born, and they grew up in a broken home. We know that Donald was abusive and can only speculate on the extent of that. Kathy Sharp’s daughter was forced to watch helplessly as Donald invaded her home and assaulted her mother, probably wondering what might have happened to her if she hadn’t escaped. It makes you wonder what Kathy’s children witnessed in their mom and Donald’s relationship prior to June 14, 2009.

Reba Weller, Kathy’s former mother-in-law, reflected on the tragedy during an interview with a local newspaper in June 2014, five years after the murder and near what would have been Kathy’s 41st birthday. Reba shared that she had worked as a service coordinator and advocate for Shenandoah Women’s Center, a local shelter for women experiencing domestic violence, for 15 years prior to Kathy’s murder. It was especially hard for Reba to accept what had happened to Kathy given that background. However, Reba said she and Kathy didn’t see what they called Donald’s “dark side” until Kathy had tried to end the relationship…”but couldn’t.” Reba helped Kathy in her efforts to stay safe, but it wasn’t enough. 

I looked at the SWC’s website for the type of guidance Kathy might have been using and found resources for safety planning with children. It’s clear from Kathy’s daughter’s actions that she and her mom had talked about some of these tips before:

  • “Teach your children when, how, and who to contact during an emergency.”
  • “If possible, instruct them to leave the home when situations begin to escalate and establish where they can go. Create a plan ahead of time with trusted people who your children can turn to during a moment of crisis.”
  • “Teach them that they shouldn’t try to intervene in moments of violence, even though they may want to protect their parents.”

Although these tips didn’t save Kathy, it does appear that they spared her daughter’s life, as she was able to stay away from Donald, call 911, and escape the home. 

Statistics

In general, murder is rare. We share some general tips on our podcast about trusting your instincts, speaking up, and looking out for others, but statistically, murder is something you likely won’t have to personally confront. But according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “one in four women and one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence (e.g. beating, burning, strangling) by an intimate partner in their lifetime.” And “on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.” Donald and Kathy’s children were part of another staggering statistic: the “1 in 15 children [who] are exposed to intimate partner violence each year…90% of [whom] are eyewitnesses to this violence.” 

Prevention

So how can we prevent such tragedies? We’ve covered several cases of intimate partner violence that happened at a time when this sort of crime wasn’t taken as seriously by law enforcement, when stalking, beating, and threats weren’t viewed as escalation to murder, and when domestic violence was treated as a couple’s personal, private affair. This was 2009. Kathy Sharp was well-informed and had a wide support network. 

Donald Surber said he “chose not to” stop because he was “full of so much anger.” We know that Kathy had ended her relationship with Donald, but the two were still having arguments in the days leading up to her murder. It’s not clear if Donald intended to kill Kathy when he broke into her home, but he did verbally express an intent to kill as soon as police arrived and followed through with it shortly after. I’m not sure there is anything law enforcement could have done differently. 

Psychological studies of domestic violence focus on the assailant’s anger. Some might theorize that the root of Donald’s anger was fear – fear of Kathy rejecting and abandoning him, a betrayal in his mind. The sense of betrayal creates a “blind rage” after which the person can’t accurately explain their violent behavior. Other analyses point to a “need for power and control” behind the anger. Kathy’s breakup could have exacerbated other issues in Donald’s life where he felt powerless and out of control. 

In the end, there are no easy answers. Kathy Sharp’s community built around the wounds left by her loss. Her daughter is working on her career and a master’s degree while her son is a collegiate baseball star. Donald Surber is still in prison. Life goes on, and hopefully those of us remaining become better at preventing these tragedies for ourselves and our loved ones in the future. 

Additional resources